I'm going to share with all of you my last relationship because Ive got LOTS of emails asking the same questions I was asking myself last month and like I said, I'm much better at giving advice than taking my own.
Here's the scenario: I met this boy, and yes I will call him a boy because he is NOT a man, at a pool party at my best guy friends house, he came with a mutual friend of my ex's.
1st mistake: Like I stressed before, its never the best idea to date friends
I didn't know him at all and at the time I wasn't fully aware of how he fit into the circle of guys I had previously known from my ex and my roommate Shanti. He started talking to my friend Audra, well hitting on her actually, I heard him ask Audra for her number and she replied " I have a boyfriend" he then replied with "so"
2nd mistake: He doesn't respect relationships nor does he care about commitment
We continued to drink and moved the party to the apt I share with Shanti, we continued to drink and this boy and I started to have conversations. As the night died down and everyone was getting sleepy he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place with him. I agreed only because my other friend was going as well, I ended up spending the night but we DID NOT sleep together, I thought I saw some potential in this guy. The next morning he dropped me back off at home and promised to see me in a few hours so we could go to the LA fair, somehow along the line we didn't exchange numbers and he "didn't get my number" until hours later
3rd mistake: If he actually liked me I would have been on his mind and he would have FOUND my number to confirm or cancel plans, he knows all of our mutual friends and with twitter, bbm and a million other ways it would have taken him one phone call or one text to have my phone number.
I agreed to meet up with him later at his house to watch a movie, for the 1st few weeks he was on his best behavior, the only thing that struck me as weird was we didn't speak much during the day, he would go on about his day as would I and it would be 8,9,10 at night before Id get a text or return call RED FLAG! he already wasn't making me feel like I was an important part of his daily activities aka his life. I didn't get too upset about it though I just thought maybe we'll take this all slow.
WRONG - Let me tell you, when you start a relationship with someone you have to set your expectations up front or he wont know what you expect out of him and before you know it he will be walking all over you.
In the weeks to come things just started getting worse and worse, I went to a social event were he was performing, I only went to support him and brought all my friends whom I was so excited to have him meet, he completely ignored me and didn't even let me know when he got inside the venue, I had to actually walk by the table he was sitting at to find out he was there.
If you come out to support your man you and your friends should be his number one priority next to his performance, whatever it may be, basketball, football, singing. I'm not saying he should follow you around like a puppy but he should show he appreciates your support and the fact that your friends are there to show support to someone they don't know shows that they love the girl he's interested in and he should acknowledge that. I mean "whats a star when your most important fan is missing"
Then he started disappearing at night, not answering the phone after he would go out for a "boys night". We would make plans and he would simply not show or not answer the phone, he would call the next day to apologize with stories as of where he was, his phone died about 3 times, one time he fell asleep at a friends hotel room, once he passed out drunk and didn't hear the phone, this boy thought of EVERY excuse, and I believed him.
If a guy is into you, he cant wait for you to come over at night and crawl into bed with him, no matter what, hes looking at his phone, hes texting you throughout the night and he is at least if he doesn't want you with him that night saying good night, see my biggest thing was, isn't it much easier to pick up the phone, say your tired and go about whatever you're doing? Nope they would rather have you going insane wondering where they are, and most of the time I was most worried about his safety
I was turning into the girl I didn't want to be I was sitting at home alone to "show him I was "well behaved and wifey material"
WHAT is wifey material, because looking around this city, wifey is the dumb broad sitting at home holding everything down while her man is out fucking all the ratchet hoes he can. Ladies DO as you please if you have your shit together and you want to be out every night GO OUT as long as youre paying your bills and aren't making a complete ass of yourself HAVE fun, do not sit around to "show him" if he likes you he will like you for you, you may have to compromise but NEVER put your life on hold for a man or anyone for that matter, trust me life is WAY to short.
I was stalking his twitter, his friends twitter and being the girl I NEVER was. I don't stalk, they stalk with me. The sad thing was that behind closed doors he constantly assured me I was his girl and that "he loved me" and " no matter what he wasn't going anywhere" FUCK that he might not be going anywhere but I sure as hell was.
I think what finally made things click was one day I had come to his house after we had 2 days apart because he again wasn't answering the phone, I had planned out a night for us, see he's from Chicago and there is a special day there called, "Sweetest day" it's a Valentines day for men. I made cupcakes, got him a build a bear, got waxed had my hair done and did my makeup he assured me he would call me after the club and I would meet him at his house, I never got a call, in fact, I didn't get a call for 2days when he finally did call I went running like a stupid asshole, a few " I'm so sorry babies" and " I miss yous" and I was off and running to his side.
Like I told you, I'm a VERY observant person, when I went into his room that night I immediately went into the bathroom and noticed my toothbrush was put away, my girly shampoos and razors where under the sink along with my flat iron, now this boy doesn't clean and it finally clicked, he had put away all of my belongings because he had someone else over, it didn't hurt so much that he had another girl over it hurt more that he cared whether or not the girl saw my belongings, if she was random who gives a shit if you "have a girlfriend" that was the little piece of pure evidence that was right in front of my eyes to make my heart change.
I still continued to see him, and speak every once in a while but it just wasn't the same. I had begun to let go, after I went on a trip to Miami with some friends I really started to be ok with it. When I got back a close friend of mine informed me that he had been sleeping with a mutual friend of hers, that broke my heart, even though I was "over it" it sucked that he had actually moved on first, not that they were a couple but that he was ok with sleeping with someone I would know about.
Even after that piece of information I still continued to pick up his calls and see him out. We only slept together once after I heard about the "new girl" and I think I just needed that as closure, I finally ended it when his punk ass slipped up and invited both me and the other girl over at the same night, I'm not really sure how this dumb ass played it all out but long story short, as I was pulling up to his apt, he had invited me lets clear that up I wasn't stalking, and as I was getting out of the car she was walking up to the gate as well, a part of me wanted to confront him and yell and scream and be dramatic, but I decided to handle myself like a lady and act like it didn't bother me, I got into the car and drove away I then sent him a text so that he knew I had seen her and really just let go of him. He of course tried to lie saying she showed up on her own blah blah blah. Yea whatever save it for the bird. LIAR LIAR LIAR
He really didn't leave my heart until recently when I met an amazing person who likes me for who I am, he picks up my calls and keeps his promises, he says what he means and means what he says and it made me realize I'm worth so much more.
This lying ass loser will probably end up all alone, I think he's so unhappy with himself he feels the way to boost his ego is sleep with all these girls and have them want him when the truth of the matter is they will fall for a lie, he is a lie everything he does and says is a lie and I fell for it, I have a great quote for him if he reads this
"There is no stopping true love, unless you fall in love with a lie that's found out"
So common ladies blast that Deuces remix and CHUCK THEM UP with me
Move on to something better!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
KNEE HI's
Ok, So I def don't want my blog to be a fashion blog AT ALL Im not here to show you about Louboutins and Chanel dresses that 85% of us can't afford. In all honesty I'd rather see someone in a vintage dress from the thrift store a leather jacket and some ankle boots, that shows REAL style.
So I thought for my first post today I'd like to share with you MY FAVORITE stores in LA to shop.
It might sound cliche but I have always adored URBAN OUTFITTERS, I can always find some sort of funky hat or off the wall jewelry, inexpensive ankle boots or a great thick knit beanie
This outfit is from Urban Outfitters the dress was only $45 the belts was $24 everyone has a leather jacket and I paired it with some knee highs and my FAVORITE shoe, the Sam Edelman ankle boot.
This can also be worn as a day dress, This day I paired it with some thick rimmed sunnies(not shown), my Sam Edelman knee high cut out boot, removed the belt and added a funky hair style, my necklace is actually a headband I bought at CVS, don't judge me.
MY all time favorite place to shop in LA is a little store on Melrose called SLOW. They have the perfect mix of PURE vintage clothing mixed with pieces exclusive to the store, if you buy anything in there you will be sure no one else will have it. They usually make only one or 2 of the same pieces an everything else is straight vintage! Go check it out when you have a chance, the price point is pretty reasonable usually between $48-$150
Slow Clothing
Even though this store Isn't really in the same category as our vintage shops I can't RESIST Kitson, Its a weakness, I love the jewelry and they carry everything Sam Edelman who right now is one of my top 5 favorite designers of 2011 so check Kitson out and also if you're looking for something REALLY nice and you're wiling to spend a pretty penny you can hit INTERMIX.
Kitson
115 South Robertson Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90048
(310) 859-2652
Intermix
110 Robertson Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90048
(310) 860-0113
Lucky for you LF, Kitson and Intermix are all on the same street, oh and while you're walking down Robertson you MUST stop for a crab cake at the Ivy Restaurant, you'll never live life the same.
The IVY
113 N Robertson Blvd, Los Angeles, California(310) 274-8303
So if you've seen me out lately you've probably noticed my sick new obsession with knee high stockings! I am absolutely in LOVE with how they look with everything, I wear them with skirts, shorts, dresses, everything I think it just adds so much to an outfit. I think EVERYONE should go out and buy a pair, I got mine at Kmart 4 pairs for $12 and if you go to the Kmart on 3rd street theres a Little Ceasers inside!!! (side note) but yes, GO GET knee highs! But be careful of how you wear them and make sure to only get black for going out, but I also have a really cute pair of white ones that are wool, I wear them with my moccasins for daytime DO NOT WEAR WHITE knee highs out to a club or without a boot over it. Here are some outfits I put together and added my KNEE HIGHS for a little extra
I'm also obsessed with ripped tights! Let me tell you, I was with all of my guy friends at a concert they had put on and last minute we decided to stay the night I had NOTHING with me to wear out to the club and the only thing open was Ralph's, I jumped into survival mode and bought a pair of black stocking that I ripped and put holes in. I then threw on a pair of jean shorts a flannel I had tied around my waist all day, unbuttoned the flannel flirty and low to add some cleavage and threw on my yes, Sam Edelman, ankle boots. I looked totally rock and roll and the outfit cost 3dollars the rest I had with me, but the tights really pulled it all together and made it look funky and original. Heres a pick of me in my ripped creations!
So set out and find you re own style! Buying the most expensive thing in the store or copying what celebs have doesn't make you stylish, it makes you basic and a second rate version of someone else. So happy shopping and send me some of the outfits you guys put together! Id love to post your findings and creations! DunnieJ@gmail.com
So I thought for my first post today I'd like to share with you MY FAVORITE stores in LA to shop.
It might sound cliche but I have always adored URBAN OUTFITTERS, I can always find some sort of funky hat or off the wall jewelry, inexpensive ankle boots or a great thick knit beanie
This is my FAV ankle boot, by Sam Edelman I wear these with EVERYTHING and the detailing is removable. 389.00 online www.SamEdelman.com this shoe is worth every penny.
And I think this boot is just a MUST have for an edgy rocker chick, I pair these with skirts, jean shorts, dresses, long dresses EVERYTHING day time, you could pull them off at night with a pair of tiny jean shorts a vintage t-shirt some ripped tights and of course a leather jacket, boots also by Sam Edelman
This can also be worn as a day dress, This day I paired it with some thick rimmed sunnies(not shown), my Sam Edelman knee high cut out boot, removed the belt and added a funky hair style, my necklace is actually a headband I bought at CVS, don't judge me.
MY all time favorite place to shop in LA is a little store on Melrose called SLOW. They have the perfect mix of PURE vintage clothing mixed with pieces exclusive to the store, if you buy anything in there you will be sure no one else will have it. They usually make only one or 2 of the same pieces an everything else is straight vintage! Go check it out when you have a chance, the price point is pretty reasonable usually between $48-$150
Slow Clothing
(323) 655-3725
7474 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90046
Los Angeles, CA 90046
Call me crazy but I think this outfit is ON point, I love everything about it, I think tights and flats are SO sexy, Im totally into the nerd glasses phase! I would probably shorten the scarf a bit and the fur jacket is a bit much for me, I prefer leather. This is the perfect example of something you could put together from a thrift or consignment store, heres a list of my favorites.
Wasteland
(323) 653-3028
7428 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(323) 653-3028
7428 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90046
American Vintage
7575 Melrose Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90046
323-944-0640
7575 Melrose Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90046
323-944-0640
LF106 South Robertson Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90048-3208
(310) 271-2727
Even though this store Isn't really in the same category as our vintage shops I can't RESIST Kitson, Its a weakness, I love the jewelry and they carry everything Sam Edelman who right now is one of my top 5 favorite designers of 2011 so check Kitson out and also if you're looking for something REALLY nice and you're wiling to spend a pretty penny you can hit INTERMIX.
Kitson
115 South Robertson Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90048
(310) 859-2652
Intermix
110 Robertson Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90048
(310) 860-0113
Lucky for you LF, Kitson and Intermix are all on the same street, oh and while you're walking down Robertson you MUST stop for a crab cake at the Ivy Restaurant, you'll never live life the same.
The IVY
113 N Robertson Blvd, Los Angeles, California
So if you've seen me out lately you've probably noticed my sick new obsession with knee high stockings! I am absolutely in LOVE with how they look with everything, I wear them with skirts, shorts, dresses, everything I think it just adds so much to an outfit. I think EVERYONE should go out and buy a pair, I got mine at Kmart 4 pairs for $12 and if you go to the Kmart on 3rd street theres a Little Ceasers inside!!! (side note) but yes, GO GET knee highs! But be careful of how you wear them and make sure to only get black for going out, but I also have a really cute pair of white ones that are wool, I wear them with my moccasins for daytime DO NOT WEAR WHITE knee highs out to a club or without a boot over it. Here are some outfits I put together and added my KNEE HIGHS for a little extra
I'm also obsessed with ripped tights! Let me tell you, I was with all of my guy friends at a concert they had put on and last minute we decided to stay the night I had NOTHING with me to wear out to the club and the only thing open was Ralph's, I jumped into survival mode and bought a pair of black stocking that I ripped and put holes in. I then threw on a pair of jean shorts a flannel I had tied around my waist all day, unbuttoned the flannel flirty and low to add some cleavage and threw on my yes, Sam Edelman, ankle boots. I looked totally rock and roll and the outfit cost 3dollars the rest I had with me, but the tights really pulled it all together and made it look funky and original. Heres a pick of me in my ripped creations!
So set out and find you re own style! Buying the most expensive thing in the store or copying what celebs have doesn't make you stylish, it makes you basic and a second rate version of someone else. So happy shopping and send me some of the outfits you guys put together! Id love to post your findings and creations! DunnieJ@gmail.com
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Rock with me.
Ok, so the last story wasn't really fair because it wasn't about me, so here you go.
If you know anything about Hollywood in the previous years you know that club " Les Duex" was the spot to be on any given night, the door was ofter referred to as "being tighter than Beyonce's weave" I was super lucky when I had officially moved to LA the head DJ at the club was a good friend and had gotten me and Audra into the club on it's opening night. That night I met one of the owners whom invited us to his table after some brief conversation and some background story as to who I was and what I was set to accomplish. He offered me a job as his assistant and asked me to start work at the club the following morning. I was ECSTATIC I had just landed a job at the coolest most exclusive club in Hollywood within my first night of moving to LA. After working for one of the owners all of the bouncers, promoters and regulars became my friends, I never had a problem getting in or getting my friends in, I was living the life it was a running joke for awhile that " I was mayor of Les Duex" in this point in time is were I met some of the most powerful and influential people in LA whom became my connect to almost anything I wanted to do.
On the particular night in question the club was especially star studded, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Kim Kardashian were all laughing and taking shots at a corner table while Britney Spears and the Olsen twins chain smoked cigarettes at another. Kid Rock, Stevo, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro where at the bar joking and Paula Abdul, Ashton Kutcher and Leo DiCaprio had taken over the upstair VIP. I walked in around 12:30am with Audra and went to the bar to have some shots with the bartender whom had become a good friend. After being there for about 30mins one of the promoters came up to me and said someone wanted to meet me, not to sound full of myself or anything but this happened often I kind of rolled my eyes and said "ok give me a min" the promoter took me by the arm and said " no, you're going to want to meet this one" He walked me over to the table and introduced me, my mouth dropped and I was speechless, he was and still is one of my favorite comedians. He stood up and introduced himself like I didn't immediately know who he was, he was there with Sugar Ray, front man Mark Mcgraph oddly enough because the pair seemed to be completely opposite.
Audra and I sat down and Mark immediately started to talk to her so that left me and the funny man to start a conversation. He asked me where I was from, what I was here to do, what I did and how old I was, just general questions, then he noticed that Audra and I had matching tattoos on the inside of our left arms. He said "is that the Red Hot Chili Pepper symbol" and in fact it was, something not a lot of people catch onto I explained that they were mine and Audras FAVORITE band and that the tattoos were a symbol of our friendship, he said "thats weird because Im actually out here directing one of their videos" I almost burst into tear, how could I be meeting one of my favorite comedians while he was in LA shooting a video for my FAVORITE band I was star struck. As the night grew to an end he told me he was going to head out to his hotel, he wanted me to come but he was going through quit a public separation and didn't want anything on the news he quietly took my number and told me he'd call me later. I thanked him for the drinks and said I looked forward to hearing from him. Audra had also a few months before met Chase Crawford, I think I can add his real name due to the fact I have nothing negative to say about him, Chase, me, Audra and Toby Hemingway (Taylor Swifts new boo) had all became close friends and spent countless nights at his small apt above the Whiskey a Go Go drinking beers and watching old lifetime movies, this was of course before his Gossip Girl fame. He was also a regular at Les Duex and was in attendance that night so we all decided to move the party to his house as we did most nights.
Within an hour of being at Chase's I got a phone call from a private number, I answered and it was him he said he wanted me to meet him at the Beverly Hills Hotel - I still remember the exact bungalow number, Bungalow 9 I told him I was bringing Audra along, he said that was fine and we were off. I had never been in a Bungalow at the Beverly Hills hotel at that time, this is one of the most exclusive expensive hotels in Los Angeles, when I walked in it looked like a villa that should be placed somewhere exotic, it had 2 bedrooms a full kitchen a living room and 3 bathrooms, it was decorated sort of how a cool grandma would have had her place done in the 90's and it smelled like fresh flowers. There was a bottle of champagne and 3 glasses on the table with chocolate and strawberries, he offered us each a glass and we all made small talk, he was actually intrigued by both Audra and I and said we had awesome personalities and senses of humor. We were flattered that someone of this magnitude had compliments for us.
After we finished our drinks he asked me to accompany him into his room, I walked in and we sat on the bed for a min. and started talking, then we started kissing and being two grown adults one thing went to another and banda bing bada boom the deed was done. Let me tell you he was a freak he wanted me to call him "daddy" and tell him "I belonged to him" he also thought of some very umm.. eccentric positions which was sort of weird due to the fact we hardly knew each other. After we were done we both put on some comfy clothes, he supplied me with a pair of mens underwear and a t-shirt and we dosed off in mid conversation. When I woke up around 10am he had left, but there was a note beside the bed that said "Call this number, it's my assistant I will have you added to the list so you and Audra can come to the Red Hot Chili Peppers shoot tomorrow at 3pm, order yourself whatever you'd like just don't call China" I still have that note to this day and is one of my most prized possessions. Audra and I were jumping up and down for joy on the large down feather hotel bed, we could hardly believe what had happened. We ordered a huge breakfast with eggs, pancakes waffles and juices, Audra and I had just stared working a job at Ed Hardy, this is when it was cool, and had to be at work in a few hours, we ate our food, showered and headed off to work. I called his assistant a few hours later and we thought that was that.
I remember I was helping a customer in the fitting room when my manager ran back to me saying "Uh Jenna, theres uhh, someone here to see you" I said "ok well as soon as Im done here I'll be right up" he started to stutter again and said " I don't want to keep this person waiting I'll finish up here you go tend to your guest" this struck me as odd because I figured it was a friend coming to say hello or one of my clients that shopped with me. I said ok and walked to the front, and there he was standing with a Starbucks coffee for me, waiting for a hug I was in shock. I must have given him a weird look because he said "Oh I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop and say hello and bring you a coffee" I had only briefly mentioned where I worked and the fact that I loved Chai tea lattes. He then announced to my boss and all the fans that had by this time surrounded him that I had failed to eat my pancakes I ordered for breakfast.
The next day Audra and I showed up for the Chili Peppers video shoot and had the time of our lives, we met the whole band and even got to be in the video in the months to follow Mr. Funny came to visit me at work a few times and accompanied me to some parties, we had dinners and went to the movies went shopping and visited the beach together. Then he had to go film a movie out of the country and somewhere along the line worked out his personal life with his wife and we lost touch. I ran into him about a month or so ago and it was a warm and friendly reunion and we exchanged emails, he's a wonderful person and will email me to make sure everything is going ok at least every 3 months.
Have you guess who Mr. Funny man is?
This story just goes to show that sometimes taking a risk with someone can be worth it, in the end it all ended well, we kept our private life private and only a few friends know about our relationship. He will always hold a place in my heart and we will always remain friends, this is one of the few times I became the exception and not the rule, the rule is the bend you over and thats it but we had a connection and we bonded he was an amazing inspiration and role model and I wouldn't change how things went for anything in the world.
If you know anything about Hollywood in the previous years you know that club " Les Duex" was the spot to be on any given night, the door was ofter referred to as "being tighter than Beyonce's weave" I was super lucky when I had officially moved to LA the head DJ at the club was a good friend and had gotten me and Audra into the club on it's opening night. That night I met one of the owners whom invited us to his table after some brief conversation and some background story as to who I was and what I was set to accomplish. He offered me a job as his assistant and asked me to start work at the club the following morning. I was ECSTATIC I had just landed a job at the coolest most exclusive club in Hollywood within my first night of moving to LA. After working for one of the owners all of the bouncers, promoters and regulars became my friends, I never had a problem getting in or getting my friends in, I was living the life it was a running joke for awhile that " I was mayor of Les Duex" in this point in time is were I met some of the most powerful and influential people in LA whom became my connect to almost anything I wanted to do.
On the particular night in question the club was especially star studded, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Kim Kardashian were all laughing and taking shots at a corner table while Britney Spears and the Olsen twins chain smoked cigarettes at another. Kid Rock, Stevo, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro where at the bar joking and Paula Abdul, Ashton Kutcher and Leo DiCaprio had taken over the upstair VIP. I walked in around 12:30am with Audra and went to the bar to have some shots with the bartender whom had become a good friend. After being there for about 30mins one of the promoters came up to me and said someone wanted to meet me, not to sound full of myself or anything but this happened often I kind of rolled my eyes and said "ok give me a min" the promoter took me by the arm and said " no, you're going to want to meet this one" He walked me over to the table and introduced me, my mouth dropped and I was speechless, he was and still is one of my favorite comedians. He stood up and introduced himself like I didn't immediately know who he was, he was there with Sugar Ray, front man Mark Mcgraph oddly enough because the pair seemed to be completely opposite.
Audra and I sat down and Mark immediately started to talk to her so that left me and the funny man to start a conversation. He asked me where I was from, what I was here to do, what I did and how old I was, just general questions, then he noticed that Audra and I had matching tattoos on the inside of our left arms. He said "is that the Red Hot Chili Pepper symbol" and in fact it was, something not a lot of people catch onto I explained that they were mine and Audras FAVORITE band and that the tattoos were a symbol of our friendship, he said "thats weird because Im actually out here directing one of their videos" I almost burst into tear, how could I be meeting one of my favorite comedians while he was in LA shooting a video for my FAVORITE band I was star struck. As the night grew to an end he told me he was going to head out to his hotel, he wanted me to come but he was going through quit a public separation and didn't want anything on the news he quietly took my number and told me he'd call me later. I thanked him for the drinks and said I looked forward to hearing from him. Audra had also a few months before met Chase Crawford, I think I can add his real name due to the fact I have nothing negative to say about him, Chase, me, Audra and Toby Hemingway (Taylor Swifts new boo) had all became close friends and spent countless nights at his small apt above the Whiskey a Go Go drinking beers and watching old lifetime movies, this was of course before his Gossip Girl fame. He was also a regular at Les Duex and was in attendance that night so we all decided to move the party to his house as we did most nights.
Within an hour of being at Chase's I got a phone call from a private number, I answered and it was him he said he wanted me to meet him at the Beverly Hills Hotel - I still remember the exact bungalow number, Bungalow 9 I told him I was bringing Audra along, he said that was fine and we were off. I had never been in a Bungalow at the Beverly Hills hotel at that time, this is one of the most exclusive expensive hotels in Los Angeles, when I walked in it looked like a villa that should be placed somewhere exotic, it had 2 bedrooms a full kitchen a living room and 3 bathrooms, it was decorated sort of how a cool grandma would have had her place done in the 90's and it smelled like fresh flowers. There was a bottle of champagne and 3 glasses on the table with chocolate and strawberries, he offered us each a glass and we all made small talk, he was actually intrigued by both Audra and I and said we had awesome personalities and senses of humor. We were flattered that someone of this magnitude had compliments for us.
After we finished our drinks he asked me to accompany him into his room, I walked in and we sat on the bed for a min. and started talking, then we started kissing and being two grown adults one thing went to another and banda bing bada boom the deed was done. Let me tell you he was a freak he wanted me to call him "daddy" and tell him "I belonged to him" he also thought of some very umm.. eccentric positions which was sort of weird due to the fact we hardly knew each other. After we were done we both put on some comfy clothes, he supplied me with a pair of mens underwear and a t-shirt and we dosed off in mid conversation. When I woke up around 10am he had left, but there was a note beside the bed that said "Call this number, it's my assistant I will have you added to the list so you and Audra can come to the Red Hot Chili Peppers shoot tomorrow at 3pm, order yourself whatever you'd like just don't call China" I still have that note to this day and is one of my most prized possessions. Audra and I were jumping up and down for joy on the large down feather hotel bed, we could hardly believe what had happened. We ordered a huge breakfast with eggs, pancakes waffles and juices, Audra and I had just stared working a job at Ed Hardy, this is when it was cool, and had to be at work in a few hours, we ate our food, showered and headed off to work. I called his assistant a few hours later and we thought that was that.
I remember I was helping a customer in the fitting room when my manager ran back to me saying "Uh Jenna, theres uhh, someone here to see you" I said "ok well as soon as Im done here I'll be right up" he started to stutter again and said " I don't want to keep this person waiting I'll finish up here you go tend to your guest" this struck me as odd because I figured it was a friend coming to say hello or one of my clients that shopped with me. I said ok and walked to the front, and there he was standing with a Starbucks coffee for me, waiting for a hug I was in shock. I must have given him a weird look because he said "Oh I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop and say hello and bring you a coffee" I had only briefly mentioned where I worked and the fact that I loved Chai tea lattes. He then announced to my boss and all the fans that had by this time surrounded him that I had failed to eat my pancakes I ordered for breakfast.
The next day Audra and I showed up for the Chili Peppers video shoot and had the time of our lives, we met the whole band and even got to be in the video in the months to follow Mr. Funny came to visit me at work a few times and accompanied me to some parties, we had dinners and went to the movies went shopping and visited the beach together. Then he had to go film a movie out of the country and somewhere along the line worked out his personal life with his wife and we lost touch. I ran into him about a month or so ago and it was a warm and friendly reunion and we exchanged emails, he's a wonderful person and will email me to make sure everything is going ok at least every 3 months.
Have you guess who Mr. Funny man is?
This story just goes to show that sometimes taking a risk with someone can be worth it, in the end it all ended well, we kept our private life private and only a few friends know about our relationship. He will always hold a place in my heart and we will always remain friends, this is one of the few times I became the exception and not the rule, the rule is the bend you over and thats it but we had a connection and we bonded he was an amazing inspiration and role model and I wouldn't change how things went for anything in the world.
Happy Birthday
So like I said before Ive lived in LA/Hollywood for almost 4years and I know you all watch TMZ and hear the stories of celebs doing this that and the other and let me tell you first hand almost all of it is true. Ive stayed up all night with starlets, musicians, comedians and actors of whom are household names. I wish I could give you their names but to keep it interesting im just going to keep you guessing.
My best friend Audra and I came to LA for a visit at the tender and impressional age of 19 with a hometown friend of ours who was a CRAZY, insane, impulsive drug addict (may he rest in peace). The flight and the adventures getting to our hotel room on the Sunset strip is a whole other story for a whole other day. We arrived at our hotel at around 11pm on a Saturday night, we were staying at the Grafton on Sunset next to the Mondrian where the Sky Bar lounge is located. Now growing up in a small farming town 40mins outside the city of Pittsburgh you only hear and see these places on MTV. One of the main things we wanted to do was go to the Sky Bar where Pdiddy had filmed one of his music videos, the only problem was A: we weren't old enough and B: we knew NO ONE. Now both Audra and I had terrible fake ID's but we decided hey, what do we have to lose and walked confidently up to the door of the Sky Bar and asked if we could come in. The guy at the door was young and started flirting with us and to our luck happened to be from a town not to far from ours back home, he was hesitant but let us in Audra and I were thrilled we were in awh at the people whom surrounded the outdoor bar, everyone was dressed in amazing clothes and it was easy for us to be approached for drinks within the first few minutes of being there. The funny thing is the 2 people we ended up hanging out with ended up still to this day being 2 of our closest friends and also mentored and helped us throughout our first year in LA. Audra was THRILLED that she got to meet the red head from "The babysitters dead" movie and we ended up drinking the night away with a well known "dboy" and a very famous "fashion designer" after the Sky bar closed they invited us to an after hours club called "xeni" a very exclusive private after hours spot that you had to be invited to. Inside we saw almost EVERY celeb doing things that they would not want public, Audra and I were in heaven we couldn't believe what we had walked into within our first few hours in the state of California.
Skip ahead 2days, we moved hotels from the Graftin in Hollywood to the Hilton in downtown LA. I remember this day all too well. There was a raging pool party on the rooftop that particular day and Audra and I got all dressed up and went up to mingle. A few mins after we got there we were approached by 2 boys. They told us that there was going to be a birthday party at the House of Blues for the ones brother. We asked who his brother was and his answer made Audra almost go into convulsions. Ill give you a hint as to who he was, he was a VERY popular child star from the early 90's he played in a movie EVERYONE has seen and his best friend, who recently passed away had the same name as him. So anyway there was NO way in hell Audra was not going to this party. Even though I was a bit worried about going with these boys I agreed and off we were, YES we got into a car with 2 strange boys we didn't know and headed to Encino, a lesson I learned all too well was a VERY bad idea.
WARNING: DO NOT GET IN A CAR WITH PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW IN HOLLYWOOD, we are actually both very lucky we weren't raped and dumped into the ocean, this is not something I am condoning nor proud of.
After these boys persuaded us to take ecstasy pills, which at the time I had never done at their house we were off to the House Of Blues in Hollywood, the party was and is a complete blur all I really remember is meeting Ron Jeremy and thinking how incredibly short the birthday boy was. Audra was on cloud 9, not only because of the ecstasy but because the man she so adored was totally into her, well, him and his wife were totally into her. Not knowing that thing like "swingers" existed I was totally weirded out and wanted to go back to the hotel, the boys however wanted us to go to an after party at his brothers house and promised he would take us back in a few hours, us being "newbies" believed these two sleaze balls and went to the party. We walked into the house and looking back now it seemed like it was straight out of a porno only a few pictures on the walls, white couches trimmed in gold and fake light pink and purple flowers in vases adorned the coffee table and fire place mantel, and the activities that were going on in the house well, it looked like one was being made, I had never seen anything like this and I was totally freaked out, the drugs made it even worse and all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room. Audra was having a ball, I guess she took to the drug better than I did, see im a very observant person Im always watching my surroundings and the people around me. I tried to pull Audra into another room and tell her I wanted to go but she was having the time of her life with "the birthday boy" and everyone else, soon everyone decided it was "time for bed" and I was so relieved when someone showed me to my own room. I got into bed and my mind was racing but my body was exhausted I had no idea where Audra was but everyone assured me she was fine. As I started to doze off I felt someone crawl into bed with me, it was "the birthday boys" brother and I wanted nothing to do with him, I told him I wanted him to take me and Audra home immediately, he pretended to be too drunk and left the room and as I realized in the morning the house as well (what an asshole). I somehow fell asleep and woke up in a complete panic and had no idea where I was, I immediately started crying and ran to find Audra, she was pacing around the master bedroom in a robe with a toothbrush in her mouth that was lighting up red and purple (so weird) I grabbed her and asked her if she was ok, she was still semi out of it and said she was fine and had a lovely time. I gave her a blank stare. We collected cab fair from "the bday boy" and his wife and Audra had explained to me on the way home what had happened, now Im not going to tell you all of the details because thats up to her but I'll tell you one thing, ecstasy is one HELL of a drug for my dear friend Audra and she now liked the "birthday boy" and his wife equally.
In the years to come we still stayed in touch with these people, if fact Audra and "the birthday boy" still talked frequently and hangout up until she had found a boyfriend, they would spend nights in her bed drinking big gulps and chain smoking Marlboros.
Let me give you a HUGE piece of advice here ABSOLUTELY DO NOT go to an after party with people you don't know, once youre in that house you are vulnerable to whatever they feel they want to do. DO NOT take drugs or alcohol from people you don't know nor have never met, Audra and I both could very well have died that night and no one would have known where or how, you have to be VERY careful as to whom you trust and in this town it's NO ONE but yourself and your best friend.
But at the end of the day I laugh pretty hard about that night, it was my first experience with drugs and what REALLY goes on behind the closed doors of Hollywood it definitely is sex, drugs and RocknRoll. Now that Im older I would never be in that position again but I guess if it benefited in anyway, it makes for great reading.
My best friend Audra and I came to LA for a visit at the tender and impressional age of 19 with a hometown friend of ours who was a CRAZY, insane, impulsive drug addict (may he rest in peace). The flight and the adventures getting to our hotel room on the Sunset strip is a whole other story for a whole other day. We arrived at our hotel at around 11pm on a Saturday night, we were staying at the Grafton on Sunset next to the Mondrian where the Sky Bar lounge is located. Now growing up in a small farming town 40mins outside the city of Pittsburgh you only hear and see these places on MTV. One of the main things we wanted to do was go to the Sky Bar where Pdiddy had filmed one of his music videos, the only problem was A: we weren't old enough and B: we knew NO ONE. Now both Audra and I had terrible fake ID's but we decided hey, what do we have to lose and walked confidently up to the door of the Sky Bar and asked if we could come in. The guy at the door was young and started flirting with us and to our luck happened to be from a town not to far from ours back home, he was hesitant but let us in Audra and I were thrilled we were in awh at the people whom surrounded the outdoor bar, everyone was dressed in amazing clothes and it was easy for us to be approached for drinks within the first few minutes of being there. The funny thing is the 2 people we ended up hanging out with ended up still to this day being 2 of our closest friends and also mentored and helped us throughout our first year in LA. Audra was THRILLED that she got to meet the red head from "The babysitters dead" movie and we ended up drinking the night away with a well known "dboy" and a very famous "fashion designer" after the Sky bar closed they invited us to an after hours club called "xeni" a very exclusive private after hours spot that you had to be invited to. Inside we saw almost EVERY celeb doing things that they would not want public, Audra and I were in heaven we couldn't believe what we had walked into within our first few hours in the state of California.
Skip ahead 2days, we moved hotels from the Graftin in Hollywood to the Hilton in downtown LA. I remember this day all too well. There was a raging pool party on the rooftop that particular day and Audra and I got all dressed up and went up to mingle. A few mins after we got there we were approached by 2 boys. They told us that there was going to be a birthday party at the House of Blues for the ones brother. We asked who his brother was and his answer made Audra almost go into convulsions. Ill give you a hint as to who he was, he was a VERY popular child star from the early 90's he played in a movie EVERYONE has seen and his best friend, who recently passed away had the same name as him. So anyway there was NO way in hell Audra was not going to this party. Even though I was a bit worried about going with these boys I agreed and off we were, YES we got into a car with 2 strange boys we didn't know and headed to Encino, a lesson I learned all too well was a VERY bad idea.
WARNING: DO NOT GET IN A CAR WITH PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW IN HOLLYWOOD, we are actually both very lucky we weren't raped and dumped into the ocean, this is not something I am condoning nor proud of.
After these boys persuaded us to take ecstasy pills, which at the time I had never done at their house we were off to the House Of Blues in Hollywood, the party was and is a complete blur all I really remember is meeting Ron Jeremy and thinking how incredibly short the birthday boy was. Audra was on cloud 9, not only because of the ecstasy but because the man she so adored was totally into her, well, him and his wife were totally into her. Not knowing that thing like "swingers" existed I was totally weirded out and wanted to go back to the hotel, the boys however wanted us to go to an after party at his brothers house and promised he would take us back in a few hours, us being "newbies" believed these two sleaze balls and went to the party. We walked into the house and looking back now it seemed like it was straight out of a porno only a few pictures on the walls, white couches trimmed in gold and fake light pink and purple flowers in vases adorned the coffee table and fire place mantel, and the activities that were going on in the house well, it looked like one was being made, I had never seen anything like this and I was totally freaked out, the drugs made it even worse and all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room. Audra was having a ball, I guess she took to the drug better than I did, see im a very observant person Im always watching my surroundings and the people around me. I tried to pull Audra into another room and tell her I wanted to go but she was having the time of her life with "the birthday boy" and everyone else, soon everyone decided it was "time for bed" and I was so relieved when someone showed me to my own room. I got into bed and my mind was racing but my body was exhausted I had no idea where Audra was but everyone assured me she was fine. As I started to doze off I felt someone crawl into bed with me, it was "the birthday boys" brother and I wanted nothing to do with him, I told him I wanted him to take me and Audra home immediately, he pretended to be too drunk and left the room and as I realized in the morning the house as well (what an asshole). I somehow fell asleep and woke up in a complete panic and had no idea where I was, I immediately started crying and ran to find Audra, she was pacing around the master bedroom in a robe with a toothbrush in her mouth that was lighting up red and purple (so weird) I grabbed her and asked her if she was ok, she was still semi out of it and said she was fine and had a lovely time. I gave her a blank stare. We collected cab fair from "the bday boy" and his wife and Audra had explained to me on the way home what had happened, now Im not going to tell you all of the details because thats up to her but I'll tell you one thing, ecstasy is one HELL of a drug for my dear friend Audra and she now liked the "birthday boy" and his wife equally.
In the years to come we still stayed in touch with these people, if fact Audra and "the birthday boy" still talked frequently and hangout up until she had found a boyfriend, they would spend nights in her bed drinking big gulps and chain smoking Marlboros.
Let me give you a HUGE piece of advice here ABSOLUTELY DO NOT go to an after party with people you don't know, once youre in that house you are vulnerable to whatever they feel they want to do. DO NOT take drugs or alcohol from people you don't know nor have never met, Audra and I both could very well have died that night and no one would have known where or how, you have to be VERY careful as to whom you trust and in this town it's NO ONE but yourself and your best friend.
But at the end of the day I laugh pretty hard about that night, it was my first experience with drugs and what REALLY goes on behind the closed doors of Hollywood it definitely is sex, drugs and RocknRoll. Now that Im older I would never be in that position again but I guess if it benefited in anyway, it makes for great reading.
Boys to Men
Most of my girlfriends come to me when they need advice on relationships. See I'm the epitimy of an Aquarius and as this water sign we tend to be very laid back, rational and non confrontational so its very easy for me to see both sides of an argument or situation Its also very easy for me to give advice but not take my own. A few things I've learned along the way.
My longest relationship was with my High School sweetheart, we were together for four years. Four amazing years he was an amazing guy. I have nothing bad to say about him nor our relationship. He was a gentleman, he was my shoulder and I was his "ride or die" we rarely fought and he was an outstanding mentor and lover. I think this relationship taught me a lot about how to treat someone you genuinely love. My next relationship was about a year, now this guy was a JERK he had the WORST Napoleon syndrome (little man complex) he was conceited, controlling and just plain rude most of the time, worst of all he ended up breaking my heart by me walking in on him in our bed with an aquatiance of ours. The old Dunnie, whom I call Jenna, took it pretty well. She cried on her dads shoulder and still tried to work things out, blamed herself and sat around thinking she wasn't good enough. Im going to say this one time and one time only, IF YOU CATCH your b/f or significant other cheating red handed LEAVE HIM so fucking fast he doesn't even have time to put his pants back on.
I know all you girls out have seen " He's just not that into you" so TAKE the advice realize when he's JUST not that into you cause I see a lot of you looking really really stupid.
If he's not calling you/texting you he's NOT into you TRUST me if youre on his mind he wants to talk to you. You're the first thing on his mind and he'll want you to know that, not matter how busy he is. NONE OF US ARE DATING OBAMA. The busy excuse is so wack!!! Unless you're running the world you're not to busy to text or call. These days phones are our lives we ALWAYS have them handy, were on twitter, facebook, email and bbm it takes 30seconds for him to let you know you're on his mind.
IF he wants to be with you HE WILL-Ive learned not to believe ANYTHING a guy says and I mean ANYTHING, all the "I love you" "I want to be with you" "you're the only girl for me" BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT if you don't ever listen to any of the advice I give listen to this. ACTIONS are the only thing you should believe. FUCK the pillow talk FUCK the "I miss you's" and all the other BULLHIT these idiots feed us. If he loves you he WILL show it. If he wants "to be with you" HE WILL he'll turn in his party hat and exchange it for nice fluffy blanket for you two to sit under and watch a movie.
His introduction to his friends is something you should pay close attention to.
- If he introduces you as " Your first name" then youre still on the friend level, even if youre hooking up but it also could be because he doesn't know what title to give you yet, usually pretty safe for both of you but it still shows he's not fully committed.
If he introduces you as "this is my friend '-your name-" then thats what you ARE, his friend, because he's letting all his boys think "he brought her but she's fair game".
Now if he say " this is my girl-your name-" then he's letting everyone know there is something going on there. Men are VERY territorial when it comes to their women, especially in this town because relationships are not the norm. The thing that women don't get is that GUYS SAY WHAT THEY MEAN. They really really do we just twist and turn and make excuses in our heads.
IF HE DOESNT CLAIM YOU DONT CALL HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND
I feel so bad for all these girls out here running around calling guys their boyfriends and he's all "thats not my girl" behind their back, like I said DONT BELIEVE what he says BELIEVE what he does, he may say behind closed door that youre his "one and only and his girl" but if he's not taking you out to social events and not picking up after club hours you better believe you are NOT the only girl, you might be his "#1" but what the FUCK does that mean, youre #1 when he has no where to be, youre #1 when he needs bailed out of jail? youre #1 when he needs to borrow some money? FUCK all that noise if your #1 you'd better be #1 ALL the time, not when it benefits him.
This may sound weird but I always said, I'll know Im in a committed relationship when neither of us have locks on our blackberry's. Going through someones phone unlocks almost ALL secrets because they cant control who calls/texts and when. I NEVER think it's ok for people to go through their "boyfriend or girlfriends" phone but I think its important to have a sense that they aren't hiding anything if its accessible. I will NEVER claim a guy as my boyfriend EVER again if I can't freely use his phone for a simple phone call or to send a text to a friend from his phone for whatever reason. Most men will jump over a burning fire pit to snatch his blackberry out of your hand, if he does that he has something to hide and essentially, he's not committed to you.
I have a quick story for you about this.
I was dating a really great guy for about 6months, Im going to admit I was the asshole in this relationship, he was fully committed to me and wonderful, he is and was an outstanding human, but let me tell you this kid was like a FUCKING detective, it was crazy!!! He would actually stand outside my apt door and listen in on conversations between me and my roommate, he broke into my email (really quick before I forget, always make your security questions to change your email password questions your ex doesn't know the answer to) he stole the sim card out of my cell phone and the memory card from my camera and uploaded all the photos to his computer, when we first started dating I was taking a nap and woke up to him in the closet going through my blackberry NOT OK if a guy does that to you RUN like for real, run because he's crazy, insecure and possibly very possessive! There are certain things that no one needs to know, like all my emails from years and years ago and camera pictures from before we were together. It's ok not to tell him everything and it's ok for him not to tell you everything but what Im trying to stress here is that from the moment you both decide to be a couple then it is your obligation from then on to be honest and let him in on everything thats going on during your relationship.
Here are just a few quick red flags thats scream UN DATABLE
-If you've been seeing him longer than a month and you don't know his government name
- He still has a sidekick
- He turns his phone off at night
- You've never spent time together before 10pm, unless you both work.
- He wont spend the night at your house
- He doesn't speak highly of his mother
- Never offers to take you out to the movies, dinner, bowling
- Smokes so much pot he falls asleep for hours on end in the middle of the day.
- Never tells you where exactly he is (in the streets is not an answer)
- Doesn't take you out to his social events
- You've never met his friends
- Doesn't buy you a drink when you're out
- Doesnt love and accept your friends
Now, sometimes ladies you don't deserve to be treated like his girl. If you've slept with more thank one of his close friends you're probably not going to be called "his girl" I mean NO guy is going to claim a girl thats smashed the homies no matter how much he likes you. Ive unfortunately been in this situation and a mans ego and his friends are very important to him, he will start to resent you if his friends are constantly clowing him on how his "wifey" smashed his pals. So heres my word of advice from experience.
DO NOT sleep with men in the same circle because if you do, I can promise you that once you actually find one you would date he WILL treat you like the HOE you acted like. No one is going to take you seriously if youre fucking friends, I promise, they are all talking about you and they are all laughing at you, but they WILL continue to sleep with you. Get the idea out of your head that youre the "homegirl" no sweetie, youre the jump off and once these boys actually find nice girls to spend their time with you'll be cut out. No girlfriend is going to want the group hoe hanging around her man. If youre ok with that then girl do you but youre not going to be taken seriously in their crew.
Ok, so I was in a situation similar to this. I started dating a boy whom I had a full on relationship with, it wasn't that we were just fucking, he was my boyfriend. We broke up and a few months later I met a distant friend of his through a mutual friend of ours and we started seeing each other. Now, it got sticky because the ex's friends were friends with the new love interest and most of them I hadn't seen since I was with the other boyfriend, the only thing you can do is be upfront with everyone about everything, the only thing that saved me from the HOE category was the fact that I was and had real relationships with these boys, it wasn't that I came and fucked them and that was it, I think that is the only exception to the rule. Now that I'm single and not with either of them I have to remove myself from ever being in a position other than friends with anyone associated with them in order to preserve my semi salvageable reputation.
Ladies, just be smart about this, use your head and your common sense and don't put all your energy into a man, I'll tell you one thing right now: A MAN does NOT respect a woman who has nothing to bring to the table, you think a rich man wants to be Captain save a hoe? I don't care how beautiful you are, "For every beautiful woman, there is a man tired of fucking her and paying for her" all of you damsels in distress cut that shit out we are ALL capable of becoming what we want without the aid of a man. He will get sick of you spending his money and sitting on your ass no matter how good your SEX and BLOW-JOBS are.
Another awesome piece of advice I was given was " Live your life like you already have a man" and what that means is,
Keep a clean house- not for him but for you, you are a product of your environment, if your house is a disaster 9 times out of 10 so is your life. Then when you do want to have someone over youre not thinking of every excuse in the book as to why your house smells like old french fries and has weave all over the floor.
Workout- Keep your mind and body healthy men LOVE women with good bodies and they often find it sexy that it's an important part of your day.
Shave your legs and stay waxed-Always stay on your "fancy girl game" you know you always feel better when you leave the hair/nail salon/spa keeping yourself beautiful makes you feel good and when you feel good you oz confidence which men love.
Put your face on-I know you think to yourself, "Im just running to the grocery store really quick ill just go looking like I got hit by a train" ok, do you think Marilyn Monroe or Jackie Kennedy thought like that? NO, common just throw on a hat, some concealer and a coat of mascara, I'm not saying you need to be made up all the time, and if you feel beautiful without make-up then lucky you and go with it, but if not then look presentable in public, how many times have you seen a hot guy and thought to yourself "UGH I look awful" and run the other way? Yea probably more times than you want to admit. So do yourself a favor and always feel beautiful.
So in conclusion, living like you already have a man prepares you for when you do find a man, you don't have to change your daily activities much and he can come into your life without you having to make a whole bunch of significant altercations to your life. He'll appreciate that you seem calm and comfortable because hey, you were doing this without him, he's just a bonus.
So go get em tiger, you deserve a man who treats you with respect, honesty and loyality. If youre not getting that then MOVE up and MOVE on.
Feel free to email me questions/comments and stories to DunnieJ@gmail.com
My longest relationship was with my High School sweetheart, we were together for four years. Four amazing years he was an amazing guy. I have nothing bad to say about him nor our relationship. He was a gentleman, he was my shoulder and I was his "ride or die" we rarely fought and he was an outstanding mentor and lover. I think this relationship taught me a lot about how to treat someone you genuinely love. My next relationship was about a year, now this guy was a JERK he had the WORST Napoleon syndrome (little man complex) he was conceited, controlling and just plain rude most of the time, worst of all he ended up breaking my heart by me walking in on him in our bed with an aquatiance of ours. The old Dunnie, whom I call Jenna, took it pretty well. She cried on her dads shoulder and still tried to work things out, blamed herself and sat around thinking she wasn't good enough. Im going to say this one time and one time only, IF YOU CATCH your b/f or significant other cheating red handed LEAVE HIM so fucking fast he doesn't even have time to put his pants back on.
I know all you girls out have seen " He's just not that into you" so TAKE the advice realize when he's JUST not that into you cause I see a lot of you looking really really stupid.
If he's not calling you/texting you he's NOT into you TRUST me if youre on his mind he wants to talk to you. You're the first thing on his mind and he'll want you to know that, not matter how busy he is. NONE OF US ARE DATING OBAMA. The busy excuse is so wack!!! Unless you're running the world you're not to busy to text or call. These days phones are our lives we ALWAYS have them handy, were on twitter, facebook, email and bbm it takes 30seconds for him to let you know you're on his mind.
IF he wants to be with you HE WILL-Ive learned not to believe ANYTHING a guy says and I mean ANYTHING, all the "I love you" "I want to be with you" "you're the only girl for me" BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT if you don't ever listen to any of the advice I give listen to this. ACTIONS are the only thing you should believe. FUCK the pillow talk FUCK the "I miss you's" and all the other BULLHIT these idiots feed us. If he loves you he WILL show it. If he wants "to be with you" HE WILL he'll turn in his party hat and exchange it for nice fluffy blanket for you two to sit under and watch a movie.
His introduction to his friends is something you should pay close attention to.
- If he introduces you as " Your first name" then youre still on the friend level, even if youre hooking up but it also could be because he doesn't know what title to give you yet, usually pretty safe for both of you but it still shows he's not fully committed.
If he introduces you as "this is my friend '-your name-" then thats what you ARE, his friend, because he's letting all his boys think "he brought her but she's fair game".
Now if he say " this is my girl-your name-" then he's letting everyone know there is something going on there. Men are VERY territorial when it comes to their women, especially in this town because relationships are not the norm. The thing that women don't get is that GUYS SAY WHAT THEY MEAN. They really really do we just twist and turn and make excuses in our heads.
IF HE DOESNT CLAIM YOU DONT CALL HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND
I feel so bad for all these girls out here running around calling guys their boyfriends and he's all "thats not my girl" behind their back, like I said DONT BELIEVE what he says BELIEVE what he does, he may say behind closed door that youre his "one and only and his girl" but if he's not taking you out to social events and not picking up after club hours you better believe you are NOT the only girl, you might be his "#1" but what the FUCK does that mean, youre #1 when he has no where to be, youre #1 when he needs bailed out of jail? youre #1 when he needs to borrow some money? FUCK all that noise if your #1 you'd better be #1 ALL the time, not when it benefits him.
This may sound weird but I always said, I'll know Im in a committed relationship when neither of us have locks on our blackberry's. Going through someones phone unlocks almost ALL secrets because they cant control who calls/texts and when. I NEVER think it's ok for people to go through their "boyfriend or girlfriends" phone but I think its important to have a sense that they aren't hiding anything if its accessible. I will NEVER claim a guy as my boyfriend EVER again if I can't freely use his phone for a simple phone call or to send a text to a friend from his phone for whatever reason. Most men will jump over a burning fire pit to snatch his blackberry out of your hand, if he does that he has something to hide and essentially, he's not committed to you.
I have a quick story for you about this.
I was dating a really great guy for about 6months, Im going to admit I was the asshole in this relationship, he was fully committed to me and wonderful, he is and was an outstanding human, but let me tell you this kid was like a FUCKING detective, it was crazy!!! He would actually stand outside my apt door and listen in on conversations between me and my roommate, he broke into my email (really quick before I forget, always make your security questions to change your email password questions your ex doesn't know the answer to) he stole the sim card out of my cell phone and the memory card from my camera and uploaded all the photos to his computer, when we first started dating I was taking a nap and woke up to him in the closet going through my blackberry NOT OK if a guy does that to you RUN like for real, run because he's crazy, insecure and possibly very possessive! There are certain things that no one needs to know, like all my emails from years and years ago and camera pictures from before we were together. It's ok not to tell him everything and it's ok for him not to tell you everything but what Im trying to stress here is that from the moment you both decide to be a couple then it is your obligation from then on to be honest and let him in on everything thats going on during your relationship.
Here are just a few quick red flags thats scream UN DATABLE
-If you've been seeing him longer than a month and you don't know his government name
- He still has a sidekick
- He turns his phone off at night
- You've never spent time together before 10pm, unless you both work.
- He wont spend the night at your house
- He doesn't speak highly of his mother
- Never offers to take you out to the movies, dinner, bowling
- Smokes so much pot he falls asleep for hours on end in the middle of the day.
- Never tells you where exactly he is (in the streets is not an answer)
- Doesn't take you out to his social events
- You've never met his friends
- Doesn't buy you a drink when you're out
- Doesnt love and accept your friends
Now, sometimes ladies you don't deserve to be treated like his girl. If you've slept with more thank one of his close friends you're probably not going to be called "his girl" I mean NO guy is going to claim a girl thats smashed the homies no matter how much he likes you. Ive unfortunately been in this situation and a mans ego and his friends are very important to him, he will start to resent you if his friends are constantly clowing him on how his "wifey" smashed his pals. So heres my word of advice from experience.
DO NOT sleep with men in the same circle because if you do, I can promise you that once you actually find one you would date he WILL treat you like the HOE you acted like. No one is going to take you seriously if youre fucking friends, I promise, they are all talking about you and they are all laughing at you, but they WILL continue to sleep with you. Get the idea out of your head that youre the "homegirl" no sweetie, youre the jump off and once these boys actually find nice girls to spend their time with you'll be cut out. No girlfriend is going to want the group hoe hanging around her man. If youre ok with that then girl do you but youre not going to be taken seriously in their crew.
Ok, so I was in a situation similar to this. I started dating a boy whom I had a full on relationship with, it wasn't that we were just fucking, he was my boyfriend. We broke up and a few months later I met a distant friend of his through a mutual friend of ours and we started seeing each other. Now, it got sticky because the ex's friends were friends with the new love interest and most of them I hadn't seen since I was with the other boyfriend, the only thing you can do is be upfront with everyone about everything, the only thing that saved me from the HOE category was the fact that I was and had real relationships with these boys, it wasn't that I came and fucked them and that was it, I think that is the only exception to the rule. Now that I'm single and not with either of them I have to remove myself from ever being in a position other than friends with anyone associated with them in order to preserve my semi salvageable reputation.
Ladies, just be smart about this, use your head and your common sense and don't put all your energy into a man, I'll tell you one thing right now: A MAN does NOT respect a woman who has nothing to bring to the table, you think a rich man wants to be Captain save a hoe? I don't care how beautiful you are, "For every beautiful woman, there is a man tired of fucking her and paying for her" all of you damsels in distress cut that shit out we are ALL capable of becoming what we want without the aid of a man. He will get sick of you spending his money and sitting on your ass no matter how good your SEX and BLOW-JOBS are.
Another awesome piece of advice I was given was " Live your life like you already have a man" and what that means is,
Keep a clean house- not for him but for you, you are a product of your environment, if your house is a disaster 9 times out of 10 so is your life. Then when you do want to have someone over youre not thinking of every excuse in the book as to why your house smells like old french fries and has weave all over the floor.
Workout- Keep your mind and body healthy men LOVE women with good bodies and they often find it sexy that it's an important part of your day.
Shave your legs and stay waxed-Always stay on your "fancy girl game" you know you always feel better when you leave the hair/nail salon/spa keeping yourself beautiful makes you feel good and when you feel good you oz confidence which men love.
Put your face on-I know you think to yourself, "Im just running to the grocery store really quick ill just go looking like I got hit by a train" ok, do you think Marilyn Monroe or Jackie Kennedy thought like that? NO, common just throw on a hat, some concealer and a coat of mascara, I'm not saying you need to be made up all the time, and if you feel beautiful without make-up then lucky you and go with it, but if not then look presentable in public, how many times have you seen a hot guy and thought to yourself "UGH I look awful" and run the other way? Yea probably more times than you want to admit. So do yourself a favor and always feel beautiful.
So in conclusion, living like you already have a man prepares you for when you do find a man, you don't have to change your daily activities much and he can come into your life without you having to make a whole bunch of significant altercations to your life. He'll appreciate that you seem calm and comfortable because hey, you were doing this without him, he's just a bonus.
So go get em tiger, you deserve a man who treats you with respect, honesty and loyality. If youre not getting that then MOVE up and MOVE on.
Feel free to email me questions/comments and stories to DunnieJ@gmail.com
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tips of the trade
Ok ladies and gentelman. This blog isn't all about me, its about you too. Here are some tips I picked up along the way that has made life in Hollywood just a touch easier.
- Always take Fountain Ave when you can.
When I first moved to LA I took Sunset blvd all the time. I was mesmerized by the billboards and hotels and looking at the stores, that got old fast when it took me 45mins to get from Lacieniga to Highland. This street is like the Hollywood freeway, it's amazing. You'll see.
- Get CNN updates to your phone.
A pretty girl is a pretty girl, they are a dime a dozen in Los Angeles let me tell you that. For every successful, good looking prestigious man there are 12 girls who want to be with him and probably will. What you need to do is act like you have a brain, and if you actually do have a brain, use it. Getting the CNN updates will help you keep up with current events wether it be sports, news or weather you'll always have a subject or article to bring up, being able to have a conversation that doesn't include the words "shopping" "spa" or "club" will usually earn you some points over the next girls.
-Men you shouldn't date/sleep with
Never ever EVER get involved with a promoter
I promise you they are only hitting on you and telling you you're beautiful because they want you to come to their club, they are all horny and sleazy and they WILL talk. Take this from me, I've made the mistake, I've made it a few times actually. I cannot stress enough to you that SLEEPING WITH A PROMOTER is like sleeping with the whole club you met him at, everyone will know, and he's probably slept with almost every girl in the club. He will most definitely break your heart. The only way for a relationship to work with one of these guys is if you've been in the game as long as he has and you're just as well known in the social scene as him, otherwise he will sleep with you, tell everyone and you'll probably feel awkward the next time you show up at his club and he makes you wait while he lets his real friends in. You'll be standing there with your girlfriends who are looking at you like "but didn't you just sleep with him last night" NOT a good look. My advice is to befriend the promoters, flirt, exchange numbers (if you don't mind getting texts about their parties ALL the time) and always stay classy around them, I promise you wont get another invite if you can't hold your liquor.
-A guy who claims he's a producer/Athlete/Musician/Actor
Ok, Im going to be honest here, when you first move to Hollywood you are going to be bombarded with hot guys, especially when you're new on the scene. The guys I know call girls who have just moved to LA and are kind of clueless to how things work "newbies" or "fresh meat" you girls are the perfect prey. You have no idea what these guys are about, you see a nice watch and that they are pouring you drinks from "their bottle" they feed you dreams of being in their movie, video or setting you up with an agent. LIES LIES LIES if these men are actually as important as they say they are, there is no need for an introduction, they know that everyone around knows them and you should too, after getting their FULL NAME or at least their first name I suggest you run to the bathroom put their name and title into your google search and compare a picture with the man you just met. If they are who they say they are PARTY UP, if their not RUN. If they actually are a producer, well known actor, athlete or musician and you're having a good time then hangout and drink DO NOT GO HOME WITH MEN ON A PROMISE. You will look like a groupie and you will get played. A professional man who actually wants to help you with your career will offer you a card or an email he will not get you wasted and try and take you home on the first night. If you are talented and actually aspire to be an actress singer or whatever it is you're looking to do sleeping with men in the industry will shoot you down so fast your head will spin. However, if you're not looking to be involved with anything pertaining to his career and you're feeling this guy then use your gut instincts I don't want you to think Im preaching to you not to sleep with anyone because that is DEFINITELY not the case I'm just trying not to get your heartbroken or your hopes up. We are all grown and able to make our own decisions on whom we give the goods to I'm just trying to stress that you don't want a bad rep before you even get your foot in the door.
-Table Manners
Let me tell you, the social scene in Hollywood is like a secret society almost like High School I'd say. You have the popular kids, usually the rich kids who are out every night dressed to impress others the heirs and the children of someone famous, you have the jocks, the boys with huge egos, usually good looking guys who get into the clubs but are broke, they're aspiring actors, rappers or producers usually hangout with the "popular kids" holds the bottles and brings the girls. Then you have the nerds, usually the people who get into the club just because they push their way to someones table whom spends a lot or is out a lot so their face is seen but no one really likes them, they're just there and I guess no one minds, they don't really get invited but find out through social networks where everyone is going to be, they're never invited to the exclusive stuff, just the things no one can control and its to much of a hassle to even ask them "why are u sitting here" they usually know their place and will move when someone "more popular" comes to join the party. You don't want to be that "nerd" so never be too pushy or ask for a drink, if a guy is feeling you he will offer you one, asking for a drink rings a bell in his head; this girl A: cant go to the bar and get her own drink and B: she's definitly a "newbie" if shes asking for a drink at a table where she doesnt know anyone. NO matter how bad you want or need a drink DO NOT ASK FOR ONE. If you can't afford to buy a drink, go to the bar and at least get some cranberry juice to walk around with, you will get invited to a table eventually, just hold tight and NEVER walk into a table uninvited, you never know who youre trying to approach and you will be embarressed when someone asks you to leave their area.
The circle is VERY small and everyone WILL know your business wether you want them to or not so be carful what you do and be ready to admit what you do and take the consequences. I know you're all thinking WOW this seems so complicated and how do I know who I should talk to and what I should do? The thing about Hollywood is you can do what you please, its wether or not you can handle the backstabbing, the criticism and they drama that comes along with the party scene and your actions. You really have to be comfortable with who you are and focused on what you want to do otherwise you will be set in a fast downward spiral.
- Always take Fountain Ave when you can.
When I first moved to LA I took Sunset blvd all the time. I was mesmerized by the billboards and hotels and looking at the stores, that got old fast when it took me 45mins to get from Lacieniga to Highland. This street is like the Hollywood freeway, it's amazing. You'll see.
- Get CNN updates to your phone.
A pretty girl is a pretty girl, they are a dime a dozen in Los Angeles let me tell you that. For every successful, good looking prestigious man there are 12 girls who want to be with him and probably will. What you need to do is act like you have a brain, and if you actually do have a brain, use it. Getting the CNN updates will help you keep up with current events wether it be sports, news or weather you'll always have a subject or article to bring up, being able to have a conversation that doesn't include the words "shopping" "spa" or "club" will usually earn you some points over the next girls.
-Men you shouldn't date/sleep with
Never ever EVER get involved with a promoter
I promise you they are only hitting on you and telling you you're beautiful because they want you to come to their club, they are all horny and sleazy and they WILL talk. Take this from me, I've made the mistake, I've made it a few times actually. I cannot stress enough to you that SLEEPING WITH A PROMOTER is like sleeping with the whole club you met him at, everyone will know, and he's probably slept with almost every girl in the club. He will most definitely break your heart. The only way for a relationship to work with one of these guys is if you've been in the game as long as he has and you're just as well known in the social scene as him, otherwise he will sleep with you, tell everyone and you'll probably feel awkward the next time you show up at his club and he makes you wait while he lets his real friends in. You'll be standing there with your girlfriends who are looking at you like "but didn't you just sleep with him last night" NOT a good look. My advice is to befriend the promoters, flirt, exchange numbers (if you don't mind getting texts about their parties ALL the time) and always stay classy around them, I promise you wont get another invite if you can't hold your liquor.
-A guy who claims he's a producer/Athlete/Musician/Actor
Ok, Im going to be honest here, when you first move to Hollywood you are going to be bombarded with hot guys, especially when you're new on the scene. The guys I know call girls who have just moved to LA and are kind of clueless to how things work "newbies" or "fresh meat" you girls are the perfect prey. You have no idea what these guys are about, you see a nice watch and that they are pouring you drinks from "their bottle" they feed you dreams of being in their movie, video or setting you up with an agent. LIES LIES LIES if these men are actually as important as they say they are, there is no need for an introduction, they know that everyone around knows them and you should too, after getting their FULL NAME or at least their first name I suggest you run to the bathroom put their name and title into your google search and compare a picture with the man you just met. If they are who they say they are PARTY UP, if their not RUN. If they actually are a producer, well known actor, athlete or musician and you're having a good time then hangout and drink DO NOT GO HOME WITH MEN ON A PROMISE. You will look like a groupie and you will get played. A professional man who actually wants to help you with your career will offer you a card or an email he will not get you wasted and try and take you home on the first night. If you are talented and actually aspire to be an actress singer or whatever it is you're looking to do sleeping with men in the industry will shoot you down so fast your head will spin. However, if you're not looking to be involved with anything pertaining to his career and you're feeling this guy then use your gut instincts I don't want you to think Im preaching to you not to sleep with anyone because that is DEFINITELY not the case I'm just trying not to get your heartbroken or your hopes up. We are all grown and able to make our own decisions on whom we give the goods to I'm just trying to stress that you don't want a bad rep before you even get your foot in the door.
-Table Manners
Let me tell you, the social scene in Hollywood is like a secret society almost like High School I'd say. You have the popular kids, usually the rich kids who are out every night dressed to impress others the heirs and the children of someone famous, you have the jocks, the boys with huge egos, usually good looking guys who get into the clubs but are broke, they're aspiring actors, rappers or producers usually hangout with the "popular kids" holds the bottles and brings the girls. Then you have the nerds, usually the people who get into the club just because they push their way to someones table whom spends a lot or is out a lot so their face is seen but no one really likes them, they're just there and I guess no one minds, they don't really get invited but find out through social networks where everyone is going to be, they're never invited to the exclusive stuff, just the things no one can control and its to much of a hassle to even ask them "why are u sitting here" they usually know their place and will move when someone "more popular" comes to join the party. You don't want to be that "nerd" so never be too pushy or ask for a drink, if a guy is feeling you he will offer you one, asking for a drink rings a bell in his head; this girl A: cant go to the bar and get her own drink and B: she's definitly a "newbie" if shes asking for a drink at a table where she doesnt know anyone. NO matter how bad you want or need a drink DO NOT ASK FOR ONE. If you can't afford to buy a drink, go to the bar and at least get some cranberry juice to walk around with, you will get invited to a table eventually, just hold tight and NEVER walk into a table uninvited, you never know who youre trying to approach and you will be embarressed when someone asks you to leave their area.
The circle is VERY small and everyone WILL know your business wether you want them to or not so be carful what you do and be ready to admit what you do and take the consequences. I know you're all thinking WOW this seems so complicated and how do I know who I should talk to and what I should do? The thing about Hollywood is you can do what you please, its wether or not you can handle the backstabbing, the criticism and they drama that comes along with the party scene and your actions. You really have to be comfortable with who you are and focused on what you want to do otherwise you will be set in a fast downward spiral.
You can call me Dunnie
Lets clear one thing up, everyone always asks, " So why do they call you Dunnie?" It actually started in High School because my last name was so hard to pronounce spelled " Guadagni" sounded out like GA-DUNNIE, everyone in LA started calling me "Dunnie" after my close friend Caroline started saying it out of the blue not knowing anything of my childhood nickname, and it stuck. So from here on out, you can call me Dunnie.
The point of this blog is to let you inside, inside a world I never imagined I would be apart of. Ive seen heard and done things that most people couldn't even imagine and I swear to you on the father, the son and the holy spirit these are all true happenings. I think people are so interested in my stories because I always tend to find the humor in everything all of my experiences tend to have a silly twist of events.
Let the games begin. Let me teach you how to Dunnie.
The point of this blog is to let you inside, inside a world I never imagined I would be apart of. Ive seen heard and done things that most people couldn't even imagine and I swear to you on the father, the son and the holy spirit these are all true happenings. I think people are so interested in my stories because I always tend to find the humor in everything all of my experiences tend to have a silly twist of events.
Let the games begin. Let me teach you how to Dunnie.
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