Let me take a bow.

So all of my friends get a kick out of the stories I have about sex, love and life, so I've decided to let all of you in on a little bit of the excitement. I've recently realized I am a place in my life where I'm ready to confess and to guide. I've lived in Hollywood, Ca for almost 4 years now and let me tell you I have gotten myself into some pretty interesting activities with the men I've dated or, not dated. I have a star studded line up when it comes to my love life and by star studded I mean from actual stars to star studded losers. Some of my ex's are the most admired men in the world and some are about as star studded as the fake clay made glitter chains they wear around their necks. So sit back, relax and get ready because, These are my confessions and Im about to tell it all.




My curiosity with love, relationships and pleasing the people around me started very early. My parents have been married for 32 years and have a great relationship, but I always noticed that the relationship was mainly my mother pleasing my father. Our home was always perfectly clean, not a speck of dust or dirt, the beds where always made, my mothers make-up was always done and dinner was always served at the same time and always homemade. My father owned a steel mill where he would work long hours but brought home more than enough money for a comfortable living for my mom, myself and my brother. From a young age it was always imprinted in my mind to please the man in your life. The best advice my mother ever gave me was " Jenna, if you want to keep a man keep a clean house, a warm homemade meal and know how to give a blow job that will make him weak in the knees" in fact my mother taught me at the age of 16 how to give a blow job on one of her many empty wine bottles she kept outside in the garden behind our shed. Now you might think, " Wtf, her MOM showed her that, what kind of mother does that?" well Im thankful for that, I was taught that sex isn't dirty nor is it forbidden, as long as it is done safely and both consent to it it should be embraced and it often times brings people closer together. Don't get it twisted though, I wasn't being encouraged to have sex but it was openly talked about in our home and just like most things, when its allowed, you usually don't want to do it. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 17 to the love of my life of 3 years.



Ill never forget my first sexual encounter, it was with a boy named Eric. We had belonged to the same country club for 3 summers and I was always so in love with him. I would watch him from afar always striving to position myself so that I looked like I had boobs, when your 16 that's what boys look at, unfortunately for me I was incredibly flat chested and my best friend was incredibly blessed. I was short yet lanky, super skinny with long arms and for my height pretty long legs, thick curly frizzy black hair and a skin color which didn't seem to match everyone else's. See where I'm from everyone is white, if you're not white youre automatically black, well I wasn't either white, nor was I black so I often got stares and uncomfortable questions from my peers that I didn't know how to answer. I thought I was white till about 3 years ago when I moved to LA.  Our country club was especially white and very pretentious the only black people that came where the ones invited to play sports with the white people. I was on the tennis team with Eric and we had tennis lessons together every saturday morning. I gave myself a pep talk in the mirror the whole week leading up to saturdays, making fake conversations with my reflection who most of the time played Eric. I fantasized about him taking me on a date, picking me up in his moms grey mini van holding flowers, us eating alone at a restaurant like my parents then him kissing me. I had only had my first kiss the summer before by a boy a year older than me, in my parents basement, he snuck it on me when he offered to help me grab sodas. I played the Cranberries kiss me for a week straight after that.


Let's cut to the chase, enough of the back story. So in the weeks to come I was crowned homecoming queen, I was captain of my JV track team, pres of the yearbook committee and finally coming into myself and feeling confident, Eric although he went to another high school started to take notice and had begun calling and texting me to come to parties with him and his friends. Eric and I became pretty close friends and I started to have crushes on other boys but then it happened Eric invited me on a date, I remember it like it was yesterday.
      He pulled up in his moms mini van, I watched him come up the street from the basement window I had been sitting in front of with my two index fingers separating the slatted blinds for an hour before he was supposed to come. I calmley snuck up the stairs to my room, skipping over the one step that squeaked like hed be able to hear me. I sat on my bed and waited for the doorbell, my mom answered the door and gave him a warm greeting because he was a familiar face. She called my name I answered "one min" like I wasn't completely ready 3days ago and paced for about 30seconds before I walked downstairs. He was wearing a blue abercrombie and fitch T-shirt cargo shorts and sneakers, I was wearing american eagle jeans and an abercrombie sweater. My mom told me I needed to be home by 11:30pm and we were off. For some reason I can't remember what we did or where we went but we ended up in the parking lot of our country club. Usher, "let it burn" was playing and we were making out. Then he un zipped his pants and asked for a blow job, I had never given one in my entire life but I was willing to try. As I gripped his tiny manhood all I could think about was "don't use your teeth, don't use your teeth" and just as he was about to cum a loud rumble came from under him along with a strong scent. My eyes started to water and I didn't know what to do. He had JUST FARTED in my mouth. I was mortified and so was he. He didn't say anything and quickly rolled down the window. I just looked at him wondering if this was normal. The whole car ride home was silent and the music was loud, he dropped me off walked me to the door kissed me on the cheek and said he would call me. I didn't tell anyone about this because I thought maybe it was my fault, or maybe it was normal, Eric and I ended up hanging out in the weeks to come and I ended up losing my virginity to him in that same van in the same parking lot of the country club. He thought it would be cute to put rose petals on the seats of the van and play "pdiddy- I need a girl" the sex act lasted only half the song and we promised each other we would never forget this moment or each other. In the back of my mind I was promising never to let someone fart in my mouth again or sleep with a man with a penis that small. I never really saw Eric like that again after losing our virginity to one another partly because we werent in love and he was moving away to college the following fall  and partly because his mother found out about our sexual evening due to the fact that the rose petals had been rubbed into the interior of her grey cloth van seats and Eric had to confess what had happened. Where is he now? Engaged and still living in our small town.  Hopefully he learned how to control his bodily functions during intimate acts.