Feedback

I know this may seem a little weird, but I had to let you know I absolutely love your blog. A girlfriend of mine recommended it to me, I don’t know how she came across it, nor do I care. I’m just glad she did!  I feel as though you go through a lot of the same things every girl goes through, you’re just honest and secure enough to let everyone know! I think that is amazing and inspirational. I personally related to the “My Boyfriend has Girlfriend” post. (sigh) It seems as though every girl I know goes through something close to this.

            My second favorite post, was “Forgetting Aldus”. The line where you said “..I party like I have daddy issues and I’m not shy about exposing my sex life” is so funny because out of my girlfriends that’s me. I think you are an inspiration to these young girls that think looks are everything. Ok, I’m done rambling..in a nutshell I love your blog and look forward to your future post!

-- 

xoxo

Serena B

Serena,

    Thank you so much for your feedback, I love getting emails like this. Girl trust me it took a long time and alot to finally be secure enough to make my confessions public, its not an easy thing but now that I have I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I was always afraid to be me and show everyone who I was and wanted to be and that I have made mistakes, but along with everyone else, I still continue to learn and grow everyday and still am making mistakes and will continue becuase no one will ever be perfect, Im just trying to show all of you guys out there that everything isnt glitz and glam and a perfect world, even if you are rich and famous. Just be you and love who you are, take your mistakes and learn and grow, never regret and love like it will last forever. 

Best of luck in your journey.

-Dunnie

Email me at: DunnieJ@gmail.com

Lesson learned

OK, like I talked about in my last few posts ITS NOT GOOD TO TALK TO FRIENDS! why I haven't taken my own advice is beyond me, so here's the situation.

There is a group of high profile guys I met recently and they all hangout in the same group so to speak, well they are all connected in some way, me being the flirty free spirit that I am I formed a relationship with all of them, we would speak on bbm daily and make plans to take them out on the town because they didn't know the city well, I was never really on some, "lets date or hook up" kind of situation it was purely fun and flirty.

The thing you have to realize that I'm just learning is that guys are just as sensitive as we are, they talk to each other and usually don't express when they actually like a girl due to that fact of being afraid they might be turned down.

What I didn't know is that one of them actually liked me, I didn't take any of them to seriously due to the fact of who they were, it didn't seem like it would ever be a "REAL" situation, so I didn't treat it as one.

My mistake.

One of the boys I was talking to invited me out the evening of Grammy night. I attended a party with him and left with him after to his hotel, once back at the hotel I went into his room and to my surprise his female assistant was also staying in the room with him and there was one bed.  Hmmm.

This made me feel a bit awkward and was uncomfortable with the situation, in the meantime one of his other friends was calling and texting my phone to "come hangout" with him, I grabbed one of my girls whom had come along and asked her to come up with me so I could feel this situation out with the other boy, when I went up there the other person was sweet and we were all having a conversation on the couch, when my friend had got up to go use the bathroom and he asked me if it was ok to ask her to leave so that we may have a private conversation between the 2 of us, I told my friend to go back to the original room and let me know when everyone was ready to leave.

Meanwhile when she had entered the room and everyone asked where I was she announced I was in another room with another person, this got the original boy mad and within a few mins I received a text that said "If I were you Id stay up there *** is down here with someone else", so this is turn made me mad and I decided to stay in the room I was in, this boy and I ended up not hooking up and I left an hour or so later.

The next day half of the boys I had been talking to deleted me from bbm and the one I had attended the Grammy party with refused to answer my bbms, texts or calls. When I spoke to my girls whom were there for the situation explained to me what went down in the other room it was just a big mess of misunderstandings.

What he didn't know was that I had no intention of staying in that room with the other person and what I didn't know was that he only got with someone else because he thought I had played him and wanted to be with his friend.

So pretty much I stayed with his friend because I thought he wanted to be with someone else, and he was with someone else because he thought I wanted to be with his friend, now the whole thing is a mess and the guy I ACTUALLY like thinks I never really liked him, I hurt his pride and made it look like I was playing him and talking to all his friends at the same time.

This is when that gosh damn double standard comes in, if a guy talks to 15 girls whom all "know each other" hes a pimp, but if a girl does it shes a hoe or thirsty, I wasn't trying to get into a relationship with any of them or even try and "get with" any of them, I was purely being fun and flirty and feeling everyone out to see whom I liked the best and who I vibed with best.  As a single woman I feel as though I can do as I please and if one was upset I was talking to another then he should have stepped up his game and claimed me, ask me to dinner or lunch, put it in a setting where we can get to know each other, if you're asking me to meet you at the club or asking me about the nightlife I'm not going to take you very seriously.  I'm obviously a very open person and when I'm feeling you, I let you know because I'm not going to let the next girl take my man.

So in short it was my fault and his, he should have let me know he was into me and I shouldn't have been playing around talking to a group of boys that were all friends, cause that made me look bad even though it was purely innocent. The only thing I can do now is try and prove to the guy I like that it was a bad judgment call on my part and wait for him to either be ready to deal with me or to cut me off.

Not having the upper hand is so frustrating because from his point of view I should never have left his room and gone anywhere else, if I felt weird about the situation I should have expressed that to him instead of running to his friends side because my actions fueled his even though neither of us were completely right in the situation.

Always think your actions through and be ready to accept and deal with the consiquenses, and if you do mess up at least learn from it. No one is perfect so lets see how this all plays out.

I'll keep you guys updated at let you know what happens! Wish me luck.

xoxox-
Dunnie

The after math

So this is one you all have been waiting for! Let me tell you my birthday was AMAZING! I had 8 wonderful nights of parties thrown in my honor and each and every person I care about was involved in some way.

The beginning of the week went smoothly, I was with my roommate and close girlfriends for the parties Mon-Weds with nothing but quality time and wonderful people.

On Thursday evening my "boyfriend" with a girlfriend flew in from Atlanta to be with me on the actual night of my birthday and the weekend, he booked the most beautiful and the biggest suite at the Redbury hotel, the newest boutique hotel in the heart of Hollywood, and even got an extra a joining room in case any of my friends wanted to spend the night.

My suite at the Redbury

                                                                    My birthday cake :)


 So Thursday night comes and ALL of my friends are there we have the best table in the club and enough alcohol to keep everyone happy for the whole evening.  A close guy friend of mine bought a huge bottle of champagne and  I received a WONDERFUL Pittsburgh steeler cake, so here comes the messy part, the last boy I was seeing whom I was infatuated with, to the point I thought I loved showed up along with the "boyfriend" already being there, all the ex's friends attended as well because I had become close with them due to our relationship, or lack there of.  I could tell in his face he was disappointed in the fact I was with someone else and this gave me a wrongful tinge of joy due to the fact he had put me through so much in the past 6months of us dealing with eachother (he is the boy I refer to in "lying cheating son of a gun") After we left the party we proceeded to the hotel with myself, my "boyfriend" and 2 close friends whom are a couple and whom are best friends with the "lying, cheating, son of a gun" lets call him "Bugs"

So on any normal night I cant get "Bugs" to answer my calls to save my life, but this particular night he wants to BLOW my phone up talking about how im "nasty" and "disgusting" for being with someone else, but the thing is Ive caught him so many times I cant even count with random girls and Ive known the "boyfriend" for over 4years and he has gone above and beyond anything "Bugs" has EVER done, but as much as I didn't want to admit it, a part of me wanted to be with "Bugs" that night and it hurt me that he was upset and thought poorly of me and thats where I get myself hurt, caring for people I shouldn't.

So that was that and "Bugs" and I became on "good terms" again a few days later and he did apologize for his harsh words, I think it actually started to sink in that he was losing me and for once it scared him, he still isn't acting right and he's not even on my line up list  but at the end of the day I think it was a perfect situation.

The next few days with the "boyfriend" were absolutely perfect, we spent quiet nights together and had wonderful dinners and outings he accompanied me to all of my parties and he told me he "loved me" it was so sweet how he did it, his words were exactly what I wanted to hear, he pulled me in close during lunch on the day of my birthday and said " I want you to know I love you, maybe not the kind of bursting love that your parents may feel for eachother but the kind of love that will always stick and that will always be real, honest and true the kind of love you feel for your best friend with an added fire" and that is exactly what Im looking for at this point in my life.  Our relationship right now is better and stronger than ever and Im very happy with the place we are in, he also told me that he is no longer my "boyfriend" with a "girlfriend" he decided to take a break from her but I still know he has women state to state he see's but as long as I'm a priority I can deal with it and he definitely showed me I'm one of his and at the tip top of his list.

Everything worked out beautifully and each person I care about made an effort to show that they cared as well, I payed close attention to whom attended and who went just a little above and beyond to make an effort to show I'm important to them.