Feedback

I know this may seem a little weird, but I had to let you know I absolutely love your blog. A girlfriend of mine recommended it to me, I don’t know how she came across it, nor do I care. I’m just glad she did!  I feel as though you go through a lot of the same things every girl goes through, you’re just honest and secure enough to let everyone know! I think that is amazing and inspirational. I personally related to the “My Boyfriend has Girlfriend” post. (sigh) It seems as though every girl I know goes through something close to this.

            My second favorite post, was “Forgetting Aldus”. The line where you said “..I party like I have daddy issues and I’m not shy about exposing my sex life” is so funny because out of my girlfriends that’s me. I think you are an inspiration to these young girls that think looks are everything. Ok, I’m done rambling..in a nutshell I love your blog and look forward to your future post!

-- 

xoxo

Serena B

Serena,

    Thank you so much for your feedback, I love getting emails like this. Girl trust me it took a long time and alot to finally be secure enough to make my confessions public, its not an easy thing but now that I have I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I was always afraid to be me and show everyone who I was and wanted to be and that I have made mistakes, but along with everyone else, I still continue to learn and grow everyday and still am making mistakes and will continue becuase no one will ever be perfect, Im just trying to show all of you guys out there that everything isnt glitz and glam and a perfect world, even if you are rich and famous. Just be you and love who you are, take your mistakes and learn and grow, never regret and love like it will last forever. 

Best of luck in your journey.

-Dunnie

Email me at: DunnieJ@gmail.com

Lesson learned

OK, like I talked about in my last few posts ITS NOT GOOD TO TALK TO FRIENDS! why I haven't taken my own advice is beyond me, so here's the situation.

There is a group of high profile guys I met recently and they all hangout in the same group so to speak, well they are all connected in some way, me being the flirty free spirit that I am I formed a relationship with all of them, we would speak on bbm daily and make plans to take them out on the town because they didn't know the city well, I was never really on some, "lets date or hook up" kind of situation it was purely fun and flirty.

The thing you have to realize that I'm just learning is that guys are just as sensitive as we are, they talk to each other and usually don't express when they actually like a girl due to that fact of being afraid they might be turned down.

What I didn't know is that one of them actually liked me, I didn't take any of them to seriously due to the fact of who they were, it didn't seem like it would ever be a "REAL" situation, so I didn't treat it as one.

My mistake.

One of the boys I was talking to invited me out the evening of Grammy night. I attended a party with him and left with him after to his hotel, once back at the hotel I went into his room and to my surprise his female assistant was also staying in the room with him and there was one bed.  Hmmm.

This made me feel a bit awkward and was uncomfortable with the situation, in the meantime one of his other friends was calling and texting my phone to "come hangout" with him, I grabbed one of my girls whom had come along and asked her to come up with me so I could feel this situation out with the other boy, when I went up there the other person was sweet and we were all having a conversation on the couch, when my friend had got up to go use the bathroom and he asked me if it was ok to ask her to leave so that we may have a private conversation between the 2 of us, I told my friend to go back to the original room and let me know when everyone was ready to leave.

Meanwhile when she had entered the room and everyone asked where I was she announced I was in another room with another person, this got the original boy mad and within a few mins I received a text that said "If I were you Id stay up there *** is down here with someone else", so this is turn made me mad and I decided to stay in the room I was in, this boy and I ended up not hooking up and I left an hour or so later.

The next day half of the boys I had been talking to deleted me from bbm and the one I had attended the Grammy party with refused to answer my bbms, texts or calls. When I spoke to my girls whom were there for the situation explained to me what went down in the other room it was just a big mess of misunderstandings.

What he didn't know was that I had no intention of staying in that room with the other person and what I didn't know was that he only got with someone else because he thought I had played him and wanted to be with his friend.

So pretty much I stayed with his friend because I thought he wanted to be with someone else, and he was with someone else because he thought I wanted to be with his friend, now the whole thing is a mess and the guy I ACTUALLY like thinks I never really liked him, I hurt his pride and made it look like I was playing him and talking to all his friends at the same time.

This is when that gosh damn double standard comes in, if a guy talks to 15 girls whom all "know each other" hes a pimp, but if a girl does it shes a hoe or thirsty, I wasn't trying to get into a relationship with any of them or even try and "get with" any of them, I was purely being fun and flirty and feeling everyone out to see whom I liked the best and who I vibed with best.  As a single woman I feel as though I can do as I please and if one was upset I was talking to another then he should have stepped up his game and claimed me, ask me to dinner or lunch, put it in a setting where we can get to know each other, if you're asking me to meet you at the club or asking me about the nightlife I'm not going to take you very seriously.  I'm obviously a very open person and when I'm feeling you, I let you know because I'm not going to let the next girl take my man.

So in short it was my fault and his, he should have let me know he was into me and I shouldn't have been playing around talking to a group of boys that were all friends, cause that made me look bad even though it was purely innocent. The only thing I can do now is try and prove to the guy I like that it was a bad judgment call on my part and wait for him to either be ready to deal with me or to cut me off.

Not having the upper hand is so frustrating because from his point of view I should never have left his room and gone anywhere else, if I felt weird about the situation I should have expressed that to him instead of running to his friends side because my actions fueled his even though neither of us were completely right in the situation.

Always think your actions through and be ready to accept and deal with the consiquenses, and if you do mess up at least learn from it. No one is perfect so lets see how this all plays out.

I'll keep you guys updated at let you know what happens! Wish me luck.

xoxox-
Dunnie

The after math

So this is one you all have been waiting for! Let me tell you my birthday was AMAZING! I had 8 wonderful nights of parties thrown in my honor and each and every person I care about was involved in some way.

The beginning of the week went smoothly, I was with my roommate and close girlfriends for the parties Mon-Weds with nothing but quality time and wonderful people.

On Thursday evening my "boyfriend" with a girlfriend flew in from Atlanta to be with me on the actual night of my birthday and the weekend, he booked the most beautiful and the biggest suite at the Redbury hotel, the newest boutique hotel in the heart of Hollywood, and even got an extra a joining room in case any of my friends wanted to spend the night.

My suite at the Redbury

                                                                    My birthday cake :)


 So Thursday night comes and ALL of my friends are there we have the best table in the club and enough alcohol to keep everyone happy for the whole evening.  A close guy friend of mine bought a huge bottle of champagne and  I received a WONDERFUL Pittsburgh steeler cake, so here comes the messy part, the last boy I was seeing whom I was infatuated with, to the point I thought I loved showed up along with the "boyfriend" already being there, all the ex's friends attended as well because I had become close with them due to our relationship, or lack there of.  I could tell in his face he was disappointed in the fact I was with someone else and this gave me a wrongful tinge of joy due to the fact he had put me through so much in the past 6months of us dealing with eachother (he is the boy I refer to in "lying cheating son of a gun") After we left the party we proceeded to the hotel with myself, my "boyfriend" and 2 close friends whom are a couple and whom are best friends with the "lying, cheating, son of a gun" lets call him "Bugs"

So on any normal night I cant get "Bugs" to answer my calls to save my life, but this particular night he wants to BLOW my phone up talking about how im "nasty" and "disgusting" for being with someone else, but the thing is Ive caught him so many times I cant even count with random girls and Ive known the "boyfriend" for over 4years and he has gone above and beyond anything "Bugs" has EVER done, but as much as I didn't want to admit it, a part of me wanted to be with "Bugs" that night and it hurt me that he was upset and thought poorly of me and thats where I get myself hurt, caring for people I shouldn't.

So that was that and "Bugs" and I became on "good terms" again a few days later and he did apologize for his harsh words, I think it actually started to sink in that he was losing me and for once it scared him, he still isn't acting right and he's not even on my line up list  but at the end of the day I think it was a perfect situation.

The next few days with the "boyfriend" were absolutely perfect, we spent quiet nights together and had wonderful dinners and outings he accompanied me to all of my parties and he told me he "loved me" it was so sweet how he did it, his words were exactly what I wanted to hear, he pulled me in close during lunch on the day of my birthday and said " I want you to know I love you, maybe not the kind of bursting love that your parents may feel for eachother but the kind of love that will always stick and that will always be real, honest and true the kind of love you feel for your best friend with an added fire" and that is exactly what Im looking for at this point in my life.  Our relationship right now is better and stronger than ever and Im very happy with the place we are in, he also told me that he is no longer my "boyfriend" with a "girlfriend" he decided to take a break from her but I still know he has women state to state he see's but as long as I'm a priority I can deal with it and he definitely showed me I'm one of his and at the tip top of his list.

Everything worked out beautifully and each person I care about made an effort to show that they cared as well, I payed close attention to whom attended and who went just a little above and beyond to make an effort to show I'm important to them.

Birthday Bitch

So, this coming Friday is my birthday! I'm so excited !!! it's the big 25 so I'm trying to go big, in the last couple of months my life and my circle of friends has changed drastically, maybe not in the way I would have wanted it to but still I believe for the better, I have ventured out and made some amazing new friends and explored a world I didn't even know existed, I feel refreshed, happy and new!

We all know things never go smoothly in the life of Dunnie so here's the issue.

As I stated in my last post I have a line-up of amazing young men, well when it comes to your birthday you kind of have to put all your eggs in one basket so to speak, I mean if I'm upholding a relationship with all of them of course I want them all to help me celebrate my birthday... right?

I really am STUMPED on how to handle this week, I mean I do have my boys listed in numbers, but it could get REALLY bad when they're all in the same club/room/party together of course none are my "boyfriend" so I can do as I please, but who knows what the repercussions of this may be because I'm always very careful and very private with who I'm actually "seeing" I mean yes I post this blog but none of you actually know whom I'm speaking about if youre not in my circle or live in LA...of course when the girl youre talking to is in the spotlight you want to be the guy by her side. This is one time I don't know what to do! HELP someone!!

Maybe I'll just see which of these boys actually go out of the way to make my special day even more special because this is the time to step up and show it, not to just follow the pack and show up at what Ive planned maybe ill just get so wasted I'll "do like jamie and blame it on the liquor cause everyone knows, Patron, thats my nigga", so I guess we will see and I'll keep you all updated. Keep sending me your emails! I love hearing from you guys and if you have any advice for me, please send it my way.

xoxo-
wish me luck this week

Email: DunnieJ@gmail.com

Keep them in LINE.

Hello everyone! I hope ya"ll are excited for the weekend!

Today I want to chat with you guys about upholding a line-up


I have recently ventured out of my circle and found the joys of being a beautiful, smart, fun, independent SINGLE young woman living in the most amazing city in America and let me tell you, I am having a BLAST!! so here's what I have on my plate right now.

1 Dboy
1 DJ/ unknown profession
2 Promoters
An English soccer player
An assistant to a MEGA star
MEGA star

So I have grouped them in order of priority, and how do you do that you might wonder, well I choose by who is the most consistent, who I vibe with the most and who gives back the best energy and who my friends like, so here's my line-up

#1 is the Italian DJ/ Unknown - He is always consistent, we actually do fun things together, I'm super attracted to him and he treats me really well and is super whitty and smart.

#2 is the Dboy, ugh hes just so sexy and he's such a bad boy, the thing is he doesn't live here though so its inconsistent and our relationship is mostly bbm.

#3 is one of the two promoters, one is older and one is younger, unfortunately for me they know each other he comes in at #3 because well, he's a promoter

#4 The assistant to the MEGA star, see the here's where it goes bad, I met #2 because I thought he was #4 (they look almost like twins, awkward) , turns out they're really good friends and grew up together. Shame on me.

#5 The MEGA star, and no this person is not the assistants boss, surprised right! he falls at #5 because he  is SUPER famous and a relationship could never actually be real even though its a blast to hang out.

#6 Falling in at #6 is my soccer player with the sexy English accent, he lives in London soooo we really don't have much of a chance with an ocean between us, but hes fun to chat with and keeps me entertained throughout the day and we have wonderful dinners and outings when he's in LA.

#7 the other promoter, he's just a play toy when I'm bored really not into him like that but he's sweet and nerdy and has a great personality.

Ok so let me make something VERY clear here, I have not SLEPT with any of these boys, ok ok fine I did one but only one, but that's where the fun comes in because as long as you're not sleeping with them, then it doesn't get messy and it holds their interest, if I was sleeping with 7 men at one time, I would be a HUGE hoe bag, and we don't want that now do we.

So this is what you need to do, both men and women, make a list of all the people you're talking to, list them in order and why they're those numbers, what you like about them and what you don't so this way when one messes up you just add him or her to the bottom of the list and keep it moving without feeling heartbroken.

If you're single, I think you should have at LEAST 5 people on your line-up to keep you interested and to have fun with, dinner dates, movies and cuddle sessions and in all fairness everyone needs the nookie so once your top 2 have earned it its ok to hook up but sleeping with all of them will probably leave you unfulfilled and feeling slutty, unless you're a guy of course (hate the double standard but those are the rules)

So go out and get your line-up crackin and don't get too attached to one unless he's going to make it serious in which case he has alot to prove because he is EASILY replaced cause if its not official then you re single. If you do actually want a relationship with one of them staying busy and not being too available is much more of a turn on and guys will really start to pay attention once they see the girl they're into has a few other boys into them as well, this doesn't work quit the same for men cause us girls just get annoyed and cut you off so strap on your air max 95's and make em chase you, cause who doesn't love a little chase.

Hot and Not

So my roommate and I used to do a hot or not list  every month and tape it to our refrigerator, so I think I'm going to bring it to you guys every week.

HOT:
- Crackled nail polish

- Dark purple lipstick

It may just be me, but I am OBSESSED with the Mac "smoked purple" I think its so different and it's a nice alternative to red even though I like to mix it with my red mac "lady danger" if you're going to rock this color make sure you put on a light brown lip liner because this color will run off your lips and add TONS of gloss

- Glow in the dark tattoos

I think these are so cool, and yes they are permanent, just be careful an read up on it before you get one, there is some speculation that they may have a cancer causing ingredient to them, the one shown here is alittle bold but I think something small on your finger or shoulder would be cute, I'm thinking about doing this myself.

- Adding "ski" to the end of your words

This is something my current roommate has made up the ever so popular Shanti Saha and it has caught on, I know it sounds silly but just wait, you'll be saying " HIskis!" or "booski" in a matter of weeks. I think its a cute way to flirt.

- Dboys

Big Meech, the ultimate Dboy

I don't know what it is about those Dboys but I just cant seem to leave them alone, Ive tried to be with good boys but the bad ones always get me.

- Dreaded creole boys 

OH EM GEE ok I don't necessarily think Wayne is "hot" but his creole New Orleans swag is AMAZING I'm actually currently very interested in a dreaded creole boy and the way he speaks makes me weak in the knees "beeleevvvee dat"

- The Panamera Porsche

I think this car is SO hot, its almost the nerdy version of a hot sports car, it has kind of a sedan, station wagon vibe. Totally into it, if this car was a guy it would my perfect type.

- "All of the lights"- Kanye West featuring Rihanna

- "Cat Daddy"- Rejectz

- "Hold it against me"- Britney Spears

- MYSTUDIO sundays

This is definitely the place to be on Sunday nights if you live in LA, its considered an "urban night" but it's all the coolest of the "urban crowd" in LA and most of the time the door is shut down by 12am because it gets so packed, the most beautiful and elite of this world will be seen inside here on Sundays, I have recently ventured from the white boigie lounges and started having a blast at night like these I save my energy and my best outfit all week to be able to party hard on this night. 

ok and now for the NOT HOT

- Nails all one color

ugh, what a bore! add some funk and personality to those!

- Bright pink lips

I'm so over this, I think it looks tacky and again super boring, but that my opinion, I do think blonde light skinned girls look cute in it but i personally think its "not hot"

- Tramp stamps

No explanation needed, if you don't have one, don't get one

- 9-5 boys

Yawn.

-White boys with no swag

Self explanatory

- Any kind of Subaru

- Anywhere BUT MyStudio on Sunday

Until next week, this is whats hot and this is whats not.  Live your life accordingly.

My boyfriend has a girlfriend

I dunno how many of you have been in this situation but of course I have, I mean story of my damn life.


So here's whats up:
   I met this hot piece of man about 3years ago in Vegas, yes VEGAS I broke the ultimate code of honor

LEAVE WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS IN VEGAS


Ugh, but he was so fine, I had to bring it home.

At this time he was playing football for the Miami Dolphins but his frame isn't build like a regular football player, he's only about 6ft and 180 pounds of pure muscle, and he is originally from Africa see I have a thing for black men that LOOK African because there is a huge difference between Africa looking men and African American looking men, anyways enough about what gets me hot and bothered, back to the point.

We talk almost every single day and we've visited every city in America together and I mean EVERY, Miami, New York, LA, Dallas, Denver, Chicago, Indianapolis,Cincinnati, Phoenix, Orlando, Dominican Republic and so on and so one, but there is ONE place he's never taken me and that's where he actually lives, Atlanta. 


Hmmm... something doesn't seem right now does it? Ive asked him on NUMEROUS occasions if he has a girlfriend or a wife and his response is always, "would it matter" and I guess if you break it down it wouldn't and if I actually KNEW then maybe I would feel a different way about what we have going on due to KARMA, so in my mind, not knowing keeps me off the hook.

So, the relationship that we have upheld is amazing, we have the best time together, I'm always myself around him and he's one of the few men I'm involved with where I can be super honest with him, we can have conversations from who I'm dating to what color my nails are this week, he's an amazing human being and our love is so strong and different, I like to describe it as a friendship that catches fire when were together  our chemistry is so strong and amazing and I truly from the bottom of my heart love him.

So here's the catch, I get a bbm from his as I usually do every morning, but this time it says "Call me as soon as you wake up" this made me a bit nervous because he never really says "call me" he'll ring my math once or twice a week but we usually keep up with each other over bbm.

When I called him his voice sounded a little shaky and he was very soft spoken and seemed as though he was almost talking to me like how you would break the news of a divorce to your child, after asking me how I was and what I was up to he proceeded to say " Hey I'll be in LA tomorrow" my voice jumped to excitement " YAY! are you here for work or will I see you?" his response stung me alittle "No, I'm not there for work and yes I would love to see you if you're ok with the fact I'm bringing someone along", Now as I stated before our relationship is mainly friendship based and that's the one thing I think that's most important to both of us, so of course me being the cool laid back Aquarius I am I cleared my throat and with every ounce of confidence I had said "Of course I would love to see you and meet your friend".

The next day he called me and told me he had landed and was heading to check into his hotel and asked what I was up to for the day, I told him I had plans for during the day but would meet him later that evening and take the two of them out.

I had asked them to meet at my place so we could all ride to the club together and so I could get a good look and feel of this "friend" he had brought.  I dressed to kill and when they arrived I was sweet as pie pretending that we had just been friends for years and that I was so happy to meet her *rolls eyes* I didn't think that this situation would bother me as much as it did because we were always honest with each other I knew he would see other girls and he knew I would see other guys but we had never actually SEEN each other with anyone because the time we spent together was secluded to just us.

After I had a few drinks it REALLY started to get to me, her touching him how I did, the pecks on the cheek, him carrying her coat and bag, the fact that I had to introduce them to everyone as a pair but there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say I had to play the part I was given and that I had chosen, the awesome friend that he loved so much and he could do and share anything with, even being with another girl.

So here's what I came out of this situation with...

If you're hooking up with someone and you care for them its never a good idea to play "the cool girl role" Ive always had a problem with being the "home girl" the girl everyone knows is just chillen Ive been in this situation plenty of times and let me tell you its a HUGE blow to my ego exspecially indroducing him to my friends who have already heard so much about him, and to then for them to meet him in my city with another woman, not a good look.

Now what to do...

I think the only thing I can do is express to him that I'm not ok with him publicly and in front of me being with someone else and if he does have an actual girlfriend in his hometown I'm not ok with keeping an intimate relationship only a friendship.

Ladies, if you find yourself in a situation like this just make sure you're honest with yourself and with the other person involved, don't try and play cool and don't act like you're going to be ok with something you're not cause you will be the one hurt. Just always be true to yourself and do what is going to make you're heart full and happy.

and never call someone your boyfriend if you think he has a girlfriend.